If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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