508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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