Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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