You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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