I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize