Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
how drunk are you?
Several
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize