Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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