I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
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Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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