Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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