I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
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There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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