Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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