I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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