My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize