weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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