How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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