I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize