That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Alive.
So much puke
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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