I wish I could punch you in the face.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize