therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
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why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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