I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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