forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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