Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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