At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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