The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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