Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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