Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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