Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
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What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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