the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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