I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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