I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize