how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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