the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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