i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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