Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize