I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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