Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize