I puked a lego.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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