i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
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After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
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Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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