i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize