i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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