nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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