is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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