you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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