I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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