Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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