so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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