Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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