omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize