My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize