I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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