absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I am available for nakedness
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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