So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize